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writing a letter to Heaven
Friday, October 07, 20054:49 AM

a letter to Heaven:

to you, who is in Heaven now. i know you're busy worshipping the Lord in Heaven right now, but i pray that you'll have some time to read this letter.

how's it Heaven? im sorry i couldn't be there at your final months, nor could my family. please don't blame them; it was because of me that we couldn't go back to Edmonton. Round about two months before you left, you were calling to see everyone. i never thought you'd be more right. my family and i couldn't go back as i had to sit for my exams. my family had planned to so many trips to go back, but they got all scrapped, because it was either too near my exam dates or i had something going on. don't hold it against us.

how was it in the final moments? it must have been brutal pain, to have to have both legs amputated to the knees. i didn't know you had diabetes, some great granddaughter i am. im sorry i wasn't able to speak to you that year when i went back in 2003. you must have been so disappointed. till now, i still can't figure out what dialect you were speaking to me in. but i remember you pointing at me, asking aunty what my name was. "Ha Leng" as you called me from that day on, and for my whole stay. ok so it was weird, but i wonder what was running through your mind, everytime sarah and levina could speak to you, whereas all i could do was stand helplessly at one side, watching everything, unable to communicate with you. at the most, i would just stand there and smile at you.

my mum told me that you were a strong independent lady, a strong christian, especially for someone who's over 90. your passing came as a great shock, but then again im glad for you. free from pain, away from the bondages of the world, to meet our Maker. it must be so wonderful. but don't forget there's one girl here who regrets many things, especially not being able to be there when you asked to see everyone you knew.

suddenly feeling your absence, great grandma

"Ha Leng"...

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