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whatsername
justa normalgirl
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would crave for [tequilasunrise] or [anyfruitycocktail] in times of depression or upsetness
or craftwork & literature, depending
erratic and admitting it :p


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TILA'S HOTSPOT


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XIAXUE


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BarTENDERS ;

designer.
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thinking too much
Saturday, August 23, 20081:52 PM

was it wrong for me to ask you that? i think my reaons for asking you to consider that are pretty justified.

you are where you are now because of me: sleep-deprived, constantly missing someone, deprived of time to study, sleeping at odd hours of the night and waking up ridiculously early just so you can talk to me, limited to the computer to talk to me, etc.

is that what you truly want to do with your youth? become sleep-deprived, msn-addicted, just because of me? IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS?

i feel guilty, and responsible. how can i allow myself to interrupt with your well-being as a person? im supposed to make sure that i give you the best i can in this replationship, and all you get is the above mentioned??? plus my temper tantrums??????? it's too much, i already feel overwhelmed typing this down, how on earth is it for you?

i feel bad for putting you in this situation, when you could be doing so much more rather than all that i listed above. dont get me wrong when i asked u to consider that idea; i was honestly thinking of your well-being. and people have this tendency to either underestimate or overestimate their current well-being, it's never accurate.

im speaking very honestly and earnestly when i tell you it's not your fault at all, i just really feel that i am pulling you down when you could be making a lot more progress. i dont want you to plunge into depression too; it's hard to imagine 2 people getting together as a couple. well for me la, cos my imagination is so limited :x

i know you dont want to, but maybe keep this as a consideration at the sidelines. you can say that it's the anger or depression talking, but they're a part of me, so it's me speaking. and im not doing this for self-justification, but more of a reasoning to get you somewhere much better.

Labels: , , ,


say something,

say it RIGHT.

end my miseryyyy....
Friday, August 22, 200811:38 PM

i hate my life. for now. i really do. im surrounded by a bunch of motherfucking idiots who cant make up their mind as to what they wanna do, thus making fools out of themselves, and very unfortunately, dragging me into the picture. sighs. wow. what a life i have. oh oh, and i have to cater to their every whim and fancy too, like a pet poodle/chihuahua. fuck off la.

it all started in the afternoon, when i was having lunch with my grandma and parents after they came back from shopping. so anyways, after lunch, i decided to watch some replays of the olympics (eh they were showing rhythmic gymnastics okay!!!), and very suay suay-ly, my dad told me (not ask), to make soba noodles as part of tonight's dinner. i hell did not want to, it was my dad's brilliant idea to make it for everyone, and it was his brilliant impulse to get all the ingredients. and unlucky old me, am the only one who knows how to make it. so yeah.

so how? scowl and do la, what else. i was planning on chatting with my hubby awhile more, in case his internet connection got cut off. besides, i have better things to do other than standing in front of a freaking pot of noodles, watching and waiting for it to boil. pfft. but whatever la. once my dad gets brilliant ideas, there's not stopping him, which means deep big shit for me lor. so i wasted like half an hour (more actually) of my youth, cooking soba noodles, watching the pot boil, and getting scolded by my grandma all the way, just cos i cooked the noodles differently than how she would normally cook her own noodles.

OI. I LEARNT IT DIFFERENTLY CAN. hell annoying, seriously. at least my dad bothered to help a little. my mum? talking to my grandma lor, agreeing with her every sentence, esp those that included my uselessness. WOW. amazing right? proves that what i told my psychiatrist was totally 110% true (i'll reveal that later).

anyways, after the whole youth-wasting event, i went back upstairs to destress a little (i was pretty pissed okay) and to talk to my beloved too. aiya suay, i would have to return back into the kitchen in about 3hours' time to cut the seaweed and cook the fishcake that goes with the noodles. ah fine, whatever. unfortunately, careless me forgot to watch the clock and ended up going down late. shit lor. lucky my parents had to go out again, so i didnt get a scolding. yet.

hurried down, cut up the fishcake into a few parts, asked my grandma to help me steam them (what the hell is steaming anyways? i only know what steaming for the hair is), then proceeded to cut the seaweed. WITH SCISSORS. 10 SHEETS. EACH JUST SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN A4 SIZE. yay. all the while getting scolded by my grandma, just cos i wasn't sure whether to boil or steam the fishcake. OMG. like that also nice to scold. eh, i know i went for a few cooking classes before, but so very sorry, my teacher didnt EMPHASIZE how to cook fishcake (the class WASN'T on fishcake, but it was used as an ingredient), and i didnt get the chance to practice. SO VERY SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU. forget cannot arh? damnit. i was so annoyed. ALL THE WAY. she kept saying sending me to the cooking class was a waste of money, that sending me there was "bai fei de", all that kinda rubbish la basically. whoa damnit, i wonder how i managed to control my temper man. seriously. i shot back at her finally, glaring hell hard through my specs, and told her, "i stupid can? can or not, if im this stupid???" (in chinese la,of course)

wow, she didnt take the hint for her to SHUT UP. damn. so the blahblah continues. she scold scold scold, i cut cut cut. pfft. then later parents came down and joined the scolding fest. yay. so now it's "Scold Jerlyne Till She Becomes Fucking Pathetic" Day. why didnt anyone inform me, at the least? tsk. all the while, im just cutting seaweed, looking busy, trying to control my temper, and fit in with the current mood, which was excitement over soba noodles. oh gosh. excitement. over NOODLES. dont ask. seriously, im still wondering.

i was hell pissed while everything was going on okay. here i am, cutting 10sheets of seaweed, cut till my right hand is now bruised okay, cos the scissors was pretty shitty itself, and guess what? nobody cares that im getting insulted beyond hell. all ya'll care about is whether your stomach gets filled or not. by the time i was done cutting, i was so pissed off i actually lost my appetite. when i was stilling cutting the seaweed all nice and pretty for everyone, my dad came up to me and whispered, "eh sorry arh, looks like there won't be any for you..." i declared as loudly as i could (with my head bent over the scissors): "IT'S OKAY.I DONT WANT ANY."

now here's the thing. im the kind that loves to try the masterpiece that she whipped out, just to see if it was according to her expectations. so when i declare that i DONT WANT ANY, something is up. sorry la, unfortunately my parents dont know and all the more dont care. my uncle and his family eat can liao. including my grandparents. me? lil fucker can go curl up and die in the basement. collect her remnants when they next move out. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING HERE OKAY. seriously. hardly anyone moved a muscle when i told them i didnt want dinner at all. not even the rice that my grandma cooked just in case there wasn't enough noodles to go around. NOTHING. just a piece of watermelon my mum made me try, to see if it was sweet or not -.-''

yeah as if it wasn't bad enough, i got dragged with my parents to clean up our new place. hubby was like "HUH. but you didnt eat dinner leh..."



YOU THINK THEY FUCKING CARE? as long as i cater to their every whim and fancy, ALL IS OKAY!!! ALL IS FUCKING WONDERFUL!!!



oh and as if it wasn't bad enough, more scolding to come. wow awesome eh? cared so much by people, kena so much scolding in less than 8hours. wow. can set world record yo. my dad at the last minute told me to get my phone just as they were about to leave the house, i duly did so. guess what? just as i was coming down the stairs to the door, KENA SCOLDED AGAIN. by my grandma who helped my parents unlock the door. she was all like "why didnt you help your parents take things out from the basement? so useless la you..." blahblahblah, usual crap la sheesh. this time i ignored her, i've had more than enough of her for a day man.

as i stepped out, my dad told me to go back in again, to see if we could bring anything else into the car. so went down back into the house, to the basement. went to check, no small items, forget it. went back up again to go to the car, and guess what? my UNCLE reprimanded me, asking: "oi why arent you helping your parents move stuff huh?"

WHAT THE FUCK. OI DONT JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS CAN. I KNOW IT'S QUITE AN ASIAN HABIT, BUT CUT IT OUT CAN??? YOU'RE IN A WESTERN CULTURE, SHOW IT!!!

argh, i just glared at him and stomped out of the house. end of story.





seriously. am i that fun to scold? do i look that scoldable? or is it that i have a "SCOLD ME LIKE SHIT!" sign on my forehead? no? THEN STOP IT. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, EVEN THOUGH I DONT SHOW THEM MUCH. IM JUST BEING STOIC SO THAT YOU IDIOTS WON'T GET FREAKED OUT BY ME. that said, BUT IT DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME AND PUSH ME AROUND.

fucking hell. wait till i go full bitch mode on you guys. you'll live to regret it, i promise. cut off your cellphone lines, email your potential bosses about how you abuse your children (did you know that whacking your kids eg like caning, is considered child abuse here? heh heh...)... fuck i can come up with ways to plague your lives. yes i am that malicious. because i've been pushed around too long, being your pet dog and all. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

and for those people who insist that family is most important, and someday i'll come back to realize it blahblah... highly unlikely that'll happen. i dont even let my parents touch me, or hug me. my mum tried to hug me when i showed her my o level results. i ran all over the house and hid in the toilet. yes, i am not close to my parents at all. and im not ashamed to say that, cos that's the way they raised me. and they have noone but themselves to blame for it. suck it up and move on man.


im not gonna say much anymore, too angry. and the angrier i am, the more irrelevant crap i'll type out, which even i might not understand (haha pathetic). oh and did you know? i've been sharing a single room with my family for almost 2months. can die. and for those 2months, i couldn't express my feelings properly. i couldnt cry myself to sleep when i wanted to, i couldnt call someone over the phone to talk to, and i couldnt scream into my pillow when i needed to. how's that for misery?

Labels: , ,


say something,

say it RIGHT.

contemplate... aahhh fuck.
Thursday, August 21, 20084:40 PM

omg these past 2 days (or is it 3? ah whatever you guys get the idea) have been kinda brain-mashing for me. pfft im not even sure that's the correct word to use cos it sounds funny =x

anyways i've been reading the old blogs that i sed to read like what, in my sec sch days? (okay more accurately, when i was sec 4 and done with o levels.) well they're probably pretty familiar, and i have them linked to my blog: Wendy Cheng and Tila Tequila's blogs :D and i think, that from reading too much from their blogs, i've come "under the influence". HAHA hell i sound pathetic. so anyways, i've been reading so much, and my brains are totally fogged over their ideas and stuff. ooooooh gosh. like like um... let me start with Wendy's blog aka XiaXue.

so recently XiaXue went for some cosmetic surgery thingie (i dont say plastic surgery cos they dont put plastics into you!!! well not plastic like those rubbermaid containers la...), and got lip fillers! i must say they look very nice indeed, but im not too sure if i'd wanna go for that, cos i think my boyfriend would probably wince before kissing me if i did. plus i'd probably burst them or something, courtesy of my lip-chewing habit. (oi i do not have an anxiety issue okay, it's just a damn habit i developed from my dry-lips days.)

BUT. i stumbled onto this very interesting website that does very good cosmetic surgery (thanks to XiaXue again), that's based in the States. gosh one visit to the website, and now im thinking of going there for a breast augmentation. heehee... okay i know there's this big debatey thing over whether natural boobs are better than augmented boobs, or vice versa. but hey, if you try to look from different angles and perspectives, both have their own pros and cons (duh).

okay lets start with au naturel. first up, the nice thing about going natural is that you dont have to worry if your implant is gonna burst if you move your arm this way and that, or if your boyfriend's intense groping is gonna cause the saline to leak out and stuff (eewww... but it's supposed to be totally safe leh). and the less surgery you go for, the less you have to worry about over the possible complications you might suay-ly kena, like scarring and other weird things i shall not mention, cos you can read it for yourself at the above mentioned website. plus if you are blessed with natural and beautiful curves and stuff, hell with cosmetic surgery right?!

BUT (again). what if Mother Nature decided to be a bitch on the day you were born, condemning you to a life of distortedness just because she was PMS-ing while you were still innocently developing inside the womb?(hello, i belong to this group! :] bleh :/) then... cosmetic surgery is like a god-sent! for those ladies out there who are either late bloomers (physically la) or just plain suay (like me), cosmetic surgery might actually be of help. the whole purpose of such surgery is to help correct some defects that we might not be happy with, and possibly affects our self-esteem in one way or another. so, in this manner, cosmetic surgery aint that bad! so, why not? just dont overdo it la, later end up looking exactly like Barbie. man, that would so suck.
"Hey Barbie, how's it like to be completely made out of plastic and still be able to have sex?" omg.

okay that was sooo lame and random, but yeah, makes you ponder a bit eh? anyways, after seeing a video on breast augmentation and the procedure they carry out at Cruise Plastic Surgery, im actually pretty keen on going for it (boyfriend starts gasping now). their procedure is really thorough, and Dr Cruise is really experienced as well. and i've been trying ways to make my boobs bigger, just so that i'll look proportionate -__-"" yes, though it's not that obvious (actually it is leh...), i am SO NOT proportionate. well i've been (not so) blessed with a big round butt, but unfortunately do not have a bra size to match (not really match, but just make my figure look even). so now i look super skinny/tiny on the top (think xs - s), and big-bottomed (like m - l???). oh wow. yippee yay.

im like a 36B now, and honestly i could do with moving up 1 or 2 cup sizes. honestly. so im 18, but so what? just because im thinking about it doesnt mean i'll do it NOW. siao meh you think i have so much lui (money, duh) to throw arh. damn i wish man. but i guess i'll wait till im like, uh... 22 or 23, then go for it after giving it more thoughts. after all, cosmetic surgery (esp major ones) arent something you can just put in and take out as and when you want. there's a reason why they're considered SURGERY.

hmmm 36D would be so nice for me though... sighs oh well, i shall have to find a job (damn), save up and see how things go (hopefully for the better!). cosmetic surgery aint cheap, so i've to start watching my expenses. soon. haha :]

okay moving on to Tila's blog. well it aint really a blog to begin with, it's more like a Tila-network place, where adorers of Tila Tequila meet, mingle and worship her (yes i am one of them HAHA). and yes, regsitration is required, but hey it's free! it's a bit like facebook-meets-Tila's-myspace-page kinda thing. and boy, i've been having a Tila fever recently, reading her posts everyday and stuff. and now i kinda want to get a tattoo. not like i've never had the urge, but it's just a whole lot stronger now :] she's on the cover of Inked Magazine, hella! so now im really thinking about getting a tattoo. or two. hee :D oh oh plus her party pictures so make me miss Singapore, happy island of happy crazy parties. okay so i've never been to a REAL party (like those siao siao ones) but i've had my small share of partying (sans alcohol and ti kos) and dirty dancing. fuck it was fun.

well it was actually a Jam&Hop session at NP's REDcamp, but hell, it was WAY better than i expected! the lights, music, beats, grooves and dancing, almost equivalent to a real club! except for the lousy wooden boards they put as floors. whoa getting caught by random girls around the waist and getting forced to dirty dance with them... hella! that is a damn fucking awesome experience i tell you! and all the guys looking around this group of hot girls dirty dancing each other, and trying to dance their way closer to us... HAH. awesome shit. love it man. the music was so loud i even became partially deaf for like what 2-3 days? heehee... i still remember screaming to all the awesome dance songs they played, which is probably why i lost my hearing for a while lol :x

so yup, kinda missing the whole partying thing now, after seeing pics on Tila's website. blehhh haha i know, getting crazier and crazier here. Fe flipped when i told her i pierced my navel. no wait, she didnt even believe me! until i let her feel it for herself. then she flipped haha. oh oh i bought new navel studs anyways, soooo cant wait to change! whoots i needa post the pics of them here too! so pretty! gonna need more jewelry holders haha~

okays so summing up this entry. contemplating on getting my tiny titties augmented, wanna get a tattoo (BOYFRIEND OEI), and so wanna start partying more often, though it seems more unsafe here in Canada than in Singapore :[ but whatever, i've been straightlaced for too long. trying to live up to everyone's fucking expectations. very fun arh, putting expectations on people. go find yourself a pet and start expecting things from it SHEESH.

OH WAIT. i need to make a list before i forget!
1) find a job like soon. before i run low on lui.
2) get Tila Tequila's album(s)!
3) finish up my Singapore Scrapbook~ (im taking eons...)
4) stop worrying about what grade im going into. the school's deciding it, and i have no say.
5) bug Hubby to send me more pictures of himself & my babies :D
6) GET MY PRIVACY BACK WHEN WE MOVE IN. IT'S WAY OVERDUE.
7) prep myself up for school (ahhh shitz...)
8) start controlling my expenses (= less makeup and new clothes :[)
9) HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE PLEASE.
10) concentrate on my world religions course a little more... (phooey)
11) mail Cheesan the neoprints, send that thing to Hubby, and reply those 3emails... zzz...
12, 13,14) refer to paragraph above

yupps that should be about it. i'd add "get my driver's license" to the list, but heck, i've got enough to do for now.

Labels: , , , ,


say something,

say it RIGHT.

Borne of Boredom & A Craving for Humour
Monday, August 18, 20089:58 PM

here's another topic of lighter and more digestible content, also brought to you by http://www.boardofwisdom.com/ ! after all, when all else fails, damn you should've followed your instincts and used your sense of humour instead! :p haha enjoy ya'll!

___________________________________________________________________

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
-Rami Belson
___________________________________________________________________

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

A LOGICAL SOLUTION.
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem. From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND,
look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
-some big organization
___________________________________________________________________

I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
-Rita Mae Brown
___________________________________________________________________

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy.
-Henry Kissinger
___________________________________________________________________

Actual Answering Machine Messages.

*My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.*

*This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.*

*John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.*

*Hi. Now YOU say something.*

*Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.*

*Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.*
-oneluckystar
___________________________________________________________________

So... the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face."
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

1) Thats not right... -Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive... -Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... -Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... -Dum Fuk
5) Small horse... -Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach?... -Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped in to a coffee table... -Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift... -Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here... -Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet... -Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone... -No Pah King
12) staying out of sight... -Lei Ying Lo
13) He's cleaning his automobile... -Wa Shing Ka
14) Your body odor is offensive... -Yu Stin Ki Pu
15) Great... -Fa Kin Su Pah

For the losers who didnt get it.....
refer to 4) please :D
-bulliten
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Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming into a revolving door.
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
___________________________________________________________________

When the americans went to space they quickly found out that ball point pens wouldn't work in zero G's, so NASA spent a decade and 12 billion dollars developing a pen that could write in zero G's, upside down, underwater on almost any surface including glass and in temperatures ranging from below freezing and to 300 degrees F.

THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL
- Unknown
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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
___________________________________________________________________

A mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”

“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother warns. “It is not polite.”

“Ok,” the little girl says. “How much do you weigh?”

“Now really,” the mother says, “these are personal questions, and really none of your business.”

Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”

“That is enough questions, honestly!” The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

“My mom wouldn’t tell me anything,” the little girl says to her friend.

“Well,” said the friend, “all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card—it has everything on it.” Later that night, the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are. You are 32.”

The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”

“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.” The mother is past surprise and shocked now.

“How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”

“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”

“Oh really?” the mother asks. “And why’s that?”

“Because you got an F in sex.”
-Unknown
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Reality is an illusion caused by a shortage of alcohol.
-Tollieman
___________________________________________________________________

(im waiting for this one to happen to me in REAL LIFE!)
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
-Kenji
___________________________________________________________________

Sunday School~

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The teacher fainted.
-lucky21

(hella i love that joke the best. well one of the best actually HAHA)

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Borne of Boredom
4:34 PM

hello! my name is Jerlyne, and i am bored! so, i shall enterain myself. creds go to http://www.boardofwisdom.com/ :D read on, you may find something interesting or appealing to yourself here :] i picked these out on a topic common to all: LOVE ❤


We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

- Sam Keen, from To Love and Be Loved
________________________________________________________________

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a deserted road on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, we're going too fast. I'm scared! And I don't want anything to happen.
Guy: Come on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. You're having fun right?
Girl: NO...please stop. I'm really scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I LOVE YOU! Now please slow down.
Guy: Give me a hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you help me out here? Will you take my helmet off of me and put it on you? It's bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle has crashed into a building due to break failure. Two people found, but only one survived.
The Truth is: That halfway down the road the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug him for one last time. Then he had her wear his helmet so she would live, even though it meant that he would die.
___________________________________________________________________

"The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in."
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "Thats her!"....
- Unknown (Website)
___________________________________________________________________

(i think my boyfriend would really click with this one... haha =x)
When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you.
When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you.
When I first liked you, I was afraid to love you.
Now that I love you I'm afraid to lose you.
-Unknown
___________________________________________________________________

Love is a slow kiss goodnight; it's anticipation.
Love is flirting ourtageously and still remembering that the person at your side is not obligated to do anything; it's respect.
Love is an imperfection in yourself not bothering you; it's acceptance.
Love is passing up an opportunity because the time isn't right yet; it's patience.
Love is a back massage that starts above the hairline and ends around the insoles; it's exploration.
Love does not have to say, "Let's make love," because you know what the other person wants; it understands.
Love is being given an honest chance to say no when you thought you were committed; it's consideration.
Love is both of you remembering protection; it's responsibility.
Love is saying the perfect phrase to make a solemn embrace dissolve into giggles; it's humor.
Love is being told "Stop and I'll kill you"; it's desire.
Love is reviewing the damge to your living room and realizing personal effects are strewn in a clockwise pattern from the front door the to bedroom; it's abandonment.
Love is seeing what your love really looks like for the first time; it's truth.
Love is knowing what time it is and not caring; it's joy.
Love is the arms around you tightening their embrace; it's ecstasy.
Love is seeing a new side of a person you thought you knew; it's renewal.
Love is telling a person if you have to leave, you will let them sleep, and being told they would rather be woken; it's tenderness.
Love is waking up to find the subject of the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder; it's where fantasy meets reality.
Love is being there to wake your lover slowly; it's sensuousness.
Love belatedly knows why you bothered to buy a queen-sized bed three years ago; it's practicality.
Love is two people only taking up a third of a queen-sized bed; it's closeness.
Love knows you gave the extra set of keys to your apartment to the right person; it's trust.
Love is saying good-bye and knowing you will be back by mutual consent; it's faith.
Love is stretching your arms and discovering the real meaning of the word "sore"; it's a lesson in human frailty.
Love is opening your medicine cabinet finding your tube of toothpaste turned into a pretzel; it's adaptation.
Love is sitting at the window, looking out and remembering who you were with the night before; it's reflection.
Love is hearing the weather forecast for a winter storm and wishing you could spend it in bed with your lover; it's loneliness.
Love is stories that will never be told; it's personal.
-Unknown
____________________________________________________________________________________

Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure out which people are worth the pain.
-Erica Baican
___________________________________________________________________

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (absolute wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6 (a very enlightened scholar here...)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6 (kinda makes me inclined to wonder what the hell went wrong with my childhood)

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4 (aww the beauty of innocence and naiveness)

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you" Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
___________________________________________________________________

and this is for those who plan on impressing their dearly beloved/crush with like, a zillion and one languages. no, i do not have a zillion and one languages (eh hello, this planet only has like over 600+ languages okay, how the ding dong can i come up with a zillion?), but i do have right around 110 languages, if that satisfies you. and since this is the longest entry, THIS SHALL BE THE LAST. for this post i mean haha :] enjoyeth!

English - I love you (if you dont know this something is wrong... do you even understand my blog???)

Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a (or it could be Ngo oiy ley. i dunno, that's how I say it.)
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Haeyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay (if you even consider this a language)
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

there you go, 110 ways (not really languages la really) to expresseth thy deepest feelings for thy lovedth one. (did anyone bother to count? haha...)

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done! but...
Sunday, August 17, 200811:05 PM

hella yeah! i've finally done up my blog! (well more like revamp actually...) i've changed my bloglink and layout woots! like seriously, i've had the old one since like what, sec 4? so that makes it... shit... since 2006? like whoa. THAT'S OLD. and besides, my MI friend MuMu kept making fun of my old link, calling it "blackforest, bloodcherry" like -_____-""" so here's the brand new blog. new package, same old crap. BLAH hahaha~

ehhh now i need help with my blogskin though. any kind souls out there to help? i wanna adjust the length of my scrollbar, but cant seem to be able to do it. tag me if you have any tips or something :] the damn scrollbar was originally NONEXISTENT, so just look to your right and marvel at my handiwork *all sing HALLELUJAH* lol omg im losing my sanity to my family and boredom here. SOMEONE SAVE ME.

oh oh baby's having his exams this week. all the best to him. and to fe fe! and all the poly people out there la... zzz shitz, i gotta go now. this rant will continue later. I'LL BE BAAAAACK.

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Like BLEH
Tuesday, August 12, 20087:33 PM

argh i wanna go back to singapore, like NOW. PLEASE? i really mean it. NOW

living in canada is just so-so, but it's so hard adjusting. in singapore there were the mrts, super convenient buses, taxis (haha hella expensive but a must in times of emergencies)... nice and easy transportation like that you know? but here it's terrible. it's like um... no car, NO LIFE. wow. what kind of civilisation am i living in? for a first-world country this is pretty backward leh... sighs i used to go mall-hopping almost everyday after school, cos it was so convenient. Causeway Point was just like what, a 3min bus ride away. and if we got sick of it, there were other malls a short train-ride ahead. but here it's like NO LIFE. there is public transportation here of course. there's the YRT (york region transit) buses (who knows how far they go and how frequent they are), and the taxis, which i rarely ever see except when they're parked on the driver's driveway -.-''

please my singaporean friends reading this, dont snigger at my fate. this is truly a pain in the arse for me. i am suffering here. oh wait let's add to my current situation. I'VE BEEN SHARING THE SAME ROOM WITH MY FAMILY FOR A MONTH. officially. and, I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE. im gonna go berserk soon. ugh and my siblings are not nice, grown, sensible ones. one's a 9year old monkey, and another's a 7year old pig. or rather piglet. imagine the amount of stupidity accumulated in the room. i fear im getting influenced by them. (and even if im not, i still run the risk of it.) gosh my family. a cramped room. try and fathom all the burping, farting, snoring, drooling, crapping and arguing i have to put up with. this is starting to crack my fragile nervous system. i so cannot wait to move out of my uncle's place and into our own rented one, where privacy will finally be restored. TO ME! and to the rest of my family as well. they can keep their burping, farting, drooling, snoring and whatnot to themselves, im very well off without it, thankyou very much.

and because there's not transportation for me to access, i haven't been going out much, and have been hella bored cooped up watching movies on my lappie. (well we do go for walks in the park and stuff, but then again i want time on my own away from them, so i dont go). and i tend to look for food when im bored (thats my natural wiring pfft). and all this, is making me fat. i mean im really proud that i can fit into kiddie clothes yo. it's WAY cheaper than teen clothes here. and no, i dont wear the leargest size for kid clothes, just the second largest. and im pretty intent on keeping it that way, cos it's not like im gonna get any taller anymore. so if i get fatter and i dont grow taller... yeah you know what that sums up to. and i REFUSE to become another fattie on the statistics board of ontario. so in a way, i cant wait till school starts. cos i have to walk there. everyday. bleh, but thats the norm here, so who am i to complain?

i guess im well prepared for the worst, to get dumped to grade11 instead of grade12, like i should be in. i really want to go to grade 12, cos i dont wanna waste one more year of my precious youth. but then again, my math sucks shit, and i owe them credits for grade11, so i guess im okay with that too. i'll just hope for the best (like i always do) and deal with the outcome (as i always always do).

i so need to find a job, on top of everything. having my parents around is crap WORSE than not having them around. it's like i cant breathe (expenditure-wise) with them in the same house as me. *dies* i mean, they dont even let me buy stuff from the dollar store! (eg gum) hello arh, you wanna live like a monk is it? then have fun collecting alms, i'll be here chewing on gum and downing juice, enjoying movies on my lappie while waiting for you to come back and tell me how it went.

SIAO. eh i know we're new here and stuff, and money is tight cos none of us have a job yet. but please la. scrimp until that stage? do you want me to go help you beg at the subway stations? sometimes i think my parents need to learn how to loosen up just a little, if they plan on fitting into the canadian society. tsk.

sometimes, i really really feel so desperate to go back to singapore. really i do. singapore seems hella nicer all of a sudden. oh did you know? they're so nationalistic here, for the broadcast of the olympics, all they do is zoom in on the candian and american teams, and then stop at that, to interview the families of the canadian and american athletes. HELLO. NO OTHER COUNTRIES PARTICIPATING ARH??? i love gymnastics. really. i get such a thrill everytime i watch gymnasts do their awesome stuff. so imagine how pissed i was when this happened. even my parents were hell pissed too. and every sports/news channel is the same! argh! no wonder a lot of the people i've met so far are narrow-minded about the world outside canada! i guess i cant blame them, with canada being the 2nd largest country in the world. but being closed to an age where everything is everywhere, that's not very smart. tsk oh well. welcome to canada =.=

sighs. on a lighter note, i've managed to take some pictures here, courtesy of my boredom :]


yeah i know, typical cheesy bend-and-fit-into-the-mirror-perfectly teenage girl picture. haah.

hmmm it seems friendly... right?

yup, it's friendly :] plus it has NO TEETH!

a very shy baby penguin i met.

and im not exaggerating shy. i think i named it Mumbly.

it was squawking "take me home!"





my slogan! :D

which hat suits me better, this:


or this one?


probably neither. plastic surgery is the best :]
BOOYAH!
oh did i mention? on top of everything, im missing my beloved baby, Joelhubby :[ i dont have any privacy to webcam with him, or cry because i miss him so so much, or take pics of myself to send to him. boohoo. talk about a complete heartbreak :'[

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