18teen and exasperated straightlyher
would crave for [tequilasunrise] or [anyfruitycocktail] in times of depression or upsetness
or craftwork & literature, depending
erratic and admitting it :p
Delectable Martini Chocolates ;
sprees of silliness musicology
chocoholic. BIG TIME
appley pies~ swing swings dance dance
love seeking no more
give it some time to load. toggle around with the buttons, that might actually help the loading process (and your boredom). turn up your speakers. if you're not gonna stay here for my entries, im pretty sure you will, for the music :D and the fortune cookie too :p
i hope that you'll continue to perservere in life, overcoming obstacles with your strong will. i hope that you'll speak your mind, and not keep to yourself all the time. i hope you'll continue to be the outstanding individual that you are, and not simply go with the crowd. i hope you'll continue to be that caring soul i know, and not turn cold towards the world and life. i hope you'll think through carefully before making decisions, and never be rash and unthoughtful.
i especially hope that blessings will light your way and that perhaps we'll get to meet another day.
no seriously. there are some good genes in the family flying around, i've realised. but i never got any of them!!! seriously! people think my mum's mongolian/malay mixed blood/ whatever they think she is, and occasional japanese tourists think my dad's japanese. wth. and me? pui. look like some ugly crap. why??? someone please tell me whyyyyyyy......
well i did inherit the sucky stuff from my parents, like my mother's sinus problems and my dad's eczematic skin. tamade why why why... but whatever, enough rant from ugly me. this entry is on the pretty gorgeous relatives who got the better genes in the family :[
an aunt/cousin of mine (i know how she's related to me la, but it's so complicated!!!), is drop dead gorgeous. seriously. what's my definition of drop dead gorgeous?
a drop dead gorgeous person (since im a girl, i'll talk in reference about girls in general) is a person who looks good at any time of the day, at any angle, with any expression on their face. in candid shots, with or without makeup, with their hair up or down.
those kind of people who just can photographed the whole damn day without professional makeup artists and people to adjust the lighting for them, and every single shot will still turn out good. taking pictures for them means stay still and click.
for other people (eg. me) it's put on makeup, fix hair, get the proper lighting, face must be at the correct angle, eyes must be widened enough, cannot smile too widely, fringe must cover a slight bit of the face, head cannot tilt too much, blah blah... you get the idea.
cut the chatter, and let me show you what my definition of gorgeous is. you may agree with me or not, but hey, it's my blog! :p and no, i will not intro her to you even if you begged.
how many of us can do this? how many???
sorry for the blurry, but as you can see it doesnt affect her gorgeousness
candid shot of my cousin/aunt laughing. again, how many of us can pull this off?
so sweet isnt she? and i can guarantee that she doesnt photoshop her pictures and put on like hundreds of layers of makeup. what you're looking at is 100% natural prettiness!
and im certain that she's not the kind who goes "ehhh this shot sucks! take again!" and keeps retaking pics till she's satisfied. and she's definitely not the kind, who when is about to get her photo taken, goes "hey wait wait! lemme arrange my hair and makeup first!'' and starts asking people if her head is tilted a nice angle. nope, she's not the kind (unlike me :[)
and now, i have another pretty cousin from australia nia. i used to think she was average looking, but after seeing these pictures, i have so changed my mind.
these pictures were taken by her friend who needed more photos added into his portfolio, and he asked if she could model for him! tadah~
she's wearing a tube la, not naked!
pretty isnt she? not photoshopped either!
okay so maybe her eyes are super tiny in this shot, but still! :]
you can view all the pictures from that photoshoot here.
and me, the runt of the family? (actually, it's the ugly of the family.) much as i camwhore a lot, hardly any shots come out nice, even after photoshopping. why? cos im that freaking ugly nia. the only thing that can probably save me is cosmetic surgery, but then again i dont wanna be a michael jackson #2 :x yeah im ugly and stubborn. wow what a combination.
so yeah after going through all the pictures i've camwhored of myself, this is the hottest/prettiest/whateverest picture i can find. and it still looks awful, even after photoshopping.
you ready for it?
SHUT UP! DONT SAY IT! i know i look like a tranny lar... kns.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, May you never take one single breath for granted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed, I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens, Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, Never settle for the path of least resistance Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking, Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making, Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to selling out reconsider, Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance...I hope you dance. I hope you dance...I hope you dance. (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along, Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens, Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance... I hope you dance. I hope you dance...I hope you dance. I hope you dance...I hope you dance. (Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)
okay for some reason, despite it being a very weird, once-every-2-months thing happening to me, i forgot to blog about it! so i shall do so today. what once-every-2-months thing is that? getting approached by guys.
and not shuai-dai, around the same age as me kind of guys, but likefucking old guys/ah peks, say around 30/40+ to 70+ years old. tamade.
i was walking out to the plaza opposite school during my spare period to go to Michael's (yes the craft store la). as i was reaching the exit, i noticed this guy walking by outside. i didnt bother really, since the school is next to a park and obviously all sorts of people go by. so i exited and just walked.
my walking pace is pretty fast when i walk alone, so i was soon ahead of that guy. suddenly i found him walking beside me, looking and smiling at me.
"nice day isnt it?" "uh... yeah... it's quite nice."
"so how are you?" "um... im good... thanks."
"so... what's your name?" "um... Jerlyne."
"what? Jolin? or..." "no, it's JER-lyne."
"oh Jerlyne... that's a pretty name!" "oh... uh... thanks."
"a pretty name that matches your pretty face." "oh... thank you very much... really."
obviously you know who said which line. if you dont, i'vecolour-coded it for you. like okay, thanks for the compliment and all, but i really dont appreciate being followed and approached like that, especially by guys who look like they're in their thirties going through some kinda mid-life crisis. i came out from a school for goodness sakes. my age range is so obvious. ughhhhhh *shudders*
guess what? this aint the first time. yeah the first was worse nia.
i was at the dollarstore with my mum and sis getting school supplies. i was around the stationery section while my sis dragged my mum off to the toys section. i was looking at binders and stuff like that when i noticed this old man pushing a trolley talking to this girl with huge-ass boobs. after she left, he started looking at me.
he came up to me, said hi, and made small talk, like about the weather and stuff. then he began asking me questions like which town am i staying in and which school i go to. yes totally creepy. i tried to walk away, but he kept talking to me, and i didnt want to seem rude, so i stayed on. then he asked me if we could meet up for lunch another day and i was like "um... NO."
and guess what he did next? came up to me and stroked my back! holy crap! shit la. i pulled away, probably blushed a lot from embarrassment, said goodbye and just walked away. walao i felt damn dirty for the rest of the day lor. ugh kena molested by lao ah pek... that's just really wrong and really gross.
i am making it a point that it will neverhappen to me again. and even if it does (touch wood), i will not react in the same docile manner. hello, xiao niang here is not for you to creep up on and prey on okay. i dont care if you cant control yourself or whatever shit, learn to give girls some respect!
ugh... i've never had anything like this happen to me before in Singapore, probably because the people there are a bit more conserved and know how to keep their distance. sigh Singapore i miss you~!
kns, i hope this isnt something that i have to "get used to"...
(because i can fit in a seashell, i will stay here away from the camera, bitchez!)
hmmm fascinating. okay so honestly, for the past 2 nights, my dreams have turtles (more specifically, terrapins) involved in them, and i have no idea why. and how much of the above statement is true, i have no idea either. but the dreams are pretty amusing though...
(i is a camwhoring turtle ya'll)
some background info to start off: my brother bought this "triops" set from school for 10 freaking bucks. you're supposed to hatch these little things with the instructions and materials provided. the whole process takes about a week or 2, and currently we're on day 5. they've hatched and now look like itsy bitsy krill running all over the container O.o
(no picture provided cos they're TOO DAMN SMALL. it's already hard enough to spot with the naked eye!)
(excuuuuuuuuse me. just because my name is Cookie doesnt mean you can actually eat me!)
on tuesday night (day 3 of the triops hatching thing), i dreamt that one of the triops eggs hatched, to my delight, aturtle! (more specifically, a terrapin) (bear in mind that the thingies hadnt hatched yet so we had no idea what they would look like, and the eggs were about as big as a pin-head O.O)
(lalala... i am Cookie the Explorer! psh who cares about Dora man..?)
in my happiness, i took the little critter and kept it for myself, without telling anyone. and for some reason, i took it to school! carried it in my hands and even occasionally put it in my bag. (dont ask me why, it was part of the dream too :x)
(the turtle's age of discovery)
okay so that one wasnt as bad, but wednesday night's dream was pretty messed up.
(the turtle's age of exploration)
on wednesday night, i had this dream that took place in school, during biology class. Ms Wan was doing some lab with hot water, so she boiled the water using an airpot (instead of a beaker or some sciencey apparatus, i have REALLY no idea). and for some reason, she put in a turtle too! okay before everyone starts freaking out, the airpot in my dream had a separate compartment at the top NOT for putting water. it's like a dish on top of the opening where you pour water in to boil.
(clearer picture: open the airpot, first thing you see is a metal dish. take the dish out, you see the part where water is boiled. tadah. funny airpot, i know)
(laptops have now evolved to becoming a turtle's playground too!)
so yeah after the water boiled, i went up and opened the airpot, just to see if the turtle was alright. it was all huddled together inside its shell, no limbs or tail sticking out. i gingerly lifted it up, and lo and behold! it was still alive! i even squeezed its shell a little to see if the "sauna" it got had softened it, and apparently the shell was still solid as a rock! i picked it up and took it for myself heehee (and the turtle in this dream was like the size of a canadian twonie :D)
(i is not on exhibition here! shoo!)
haha when i told my friends about my second dream, they were all like "OMG!!! MS WAN IS SO CRUEL!!!'' crap i think i just gave them more reason to dislike the teacher :x
(oooh! what be this???)
but when i gave the supposed "meaning of my dream" more thought, perhaps it did mean more than simply my love for turtles. (oei laugh what? turtles are cute okay!)
(hi ho, hi ho, it's off to exploring i go!)
"slow but steady progress"
call me surperstitious or reading way too much into it, but maybe it's indicative of my adaptation to Canada. much as people around me think im fully adapted and crap, i know im not. deep inside me is that feeling to just start talking in my real Singaporean accent, power-packed with Singlish, and to yell at someone "DIAM LA CCB!" instead of the regular "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU!'' psh.
(why this stupid girl put us in a box arh? and now she's pointing this black thing at me! hmph look away look away!)
i still use certain Singaporean terms to describe people to others (and end up apologizing and explaining what the term means). i still crave for fried carrot cake, sproingy maggie mee, ah lians to diss, "Majulah Singapura" to make fun of, open-air kopitiams, the awesome mrts where you can pole dance in (provided hardly anyone's around), the beach island of sentosa, the chalets in east coast, convenient online shopping where i can meet the blogshop owners and do a product inspection on the spot, malls all over the tiny island, the fact that Singapore is so near hot tourist spots, the never-ending partying that's SAFE, you can get cute baby terrapins for like $3 each anywhere, the summer all year round...
damn the list could go on forever!
(still pointing that ugly thing at me! well 2 can play at this game! *continues looking up*)
"you are sheltering yourself from the realities of life"
awkward as it seems, i find this so true. i've been missing Singapore so much, i haven't been immersing myself in the Canadian lifestyle. people who think i have, i wonder how you got to that conclusion :x
(yes i put them in a box to camwhore them :D)
all i do nowadays is think about how life in Singapore for me would've been like, had i stayed on. i'd be in poly/MI now, possibly working part time, and definitely partying quite a bit... *slaps self* okay i have to stop. i keep thinking about what could've been, instead of facing what is here and now.
yeah, so cowardly hor?
(someone once said this picture looks really cute cos it seems like they had their own little turtle argument!)
but it's so hard to let go. especially knowing that i could have survived just as well in Singapore had i stayed on, or probably even better. you know the feeling of having it all, the time of your life, then it gets taken away from you in one fell swoop? yes that's how it is for me. how can i just let go like that? you think 17 years of building up can be demolished/modified in an instant? that's why i hate it when people tell me to suck it up.shut your damn mouth and take a walk in my life before you say anything.
(the 3butt-e-teers -___-)
move on. i've never liked saying that to people when i console them and stuff, because i know how hard it can be.
i can safely say i've never really moved on since i left Singapore, only covered up. the makeup, the accent, the laughter, the jokes, the attention-seeking... now when i think about it, it's all a facade, a desperate attempt to relive my life the way i did in Singapore. funny isnt it? i wonder how long i can keep this charade up. and i find it even funnier that some Canadian locals think im a local. holy crap my acting must be that awesome. gimme a contract already, Hollywood.
(arent their colours cute? brown, brown-green, green, in order)
look ahead. i cant even face the present now, and you bloody want me to look ahead?
want to know what i see when i "look ahead"? i see myself graduating at the weirdest of times, neither with my grade 12 friends nor my grade 11 ones. i see myself applying for my desired courses like vet science and psychology, and getting rejected. i see myself broke, and working as a manicurist at some regular spa shop thing. THAT'S what i see. why do i see what i see?
because assuming that things dont improve too much from now, yeah everything ahead's gonna look pretty bleak :x can i go back to Singapore now...? *slaps self*
(i is turtle, and i is ready to pounce!)
(ARRRGGGGHHHH BRIGHT LIGHT!!! scram scram!!!!!!)
(argh put me down put me d- hey! look! bright and colourful~!)
(damnit. i hate it when i flip onto my back... well here goes!)
(we are zee new kindz od spiez. turtel spiez. *creeps up slowly with James Bond music playing in the backgound*)
(omg the camera!!!)
(the next time i see mountain peaks like that (terrapins' noses), im gonna call it Terrapin Nose Peak :D)
i was thinking to myself today, i blog about so many crappy and typical-high-school-girl stuff, maybe i should blog about something useful for once, like self-help stuff. so after hours of arduous and painstaking research, i am proud to say i have the answer. i've got some videos for you, and i sure hope you'll find them useful and enriching :D
How to be Ninja
tell me, just who wouldnt wanna be a ninja, or possess some sort of ninja fighting skill? well here's the very video to aid you in your noble quest!
How to be Gangster
yeah tha's rite ya'll. and i dont mean no Singaporean style ah beng kinda gangsta, they just aint fly the rite kinda way. so pay attenshun ya'll, and learn some real tricks on how ta become a realgangsta, complete with rules of tha 'hood.
How to be Emo
there's nothing funny about being emo. it's a form of self-expression that is greatly misunderstood, and you can learn more about it here, from how to behave and dress like one, right down to "The Emo Song" that all emos MUST know.
How to be Nerdy
stop sniggering! so nerds maybe for punching bags at the moment, but watch out, cos you're most likely going to end up working under one. humbling thought, isnt it?
How to be a UFC Fighter
well this is just a bonus i threw in, in case there are any potential UFC champs out there. get the low down on what it takes to be a UFC champ, just like BJ Penn.
hope you guys are now more inspired! live life to the fullest! me love you long time! :D