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Wednesday, June 27, 20072:50 AM

okay so once again i've yet to blog in a long time. oh well when the holidays come laziness and travelling kick in... not my fault! >.<>brief update: yes im much happier now, for what reasons im not gonna mention. its anybody's guess =] but in any case yes im the carefree bouncy freak of a girl i used to be, not the sobby sobby one i've been for so long. oh how i marvel at the change in me HAHAHA =X

church musical rehearsals are driving me nuts but its okay im used to it now. and now, i go to church up to 4 TIMES A WEEK. hah but no im not any much holier so yeah heh. count this: thursday for choir practice, friday for the musical, saturday also for the musical, and sunday for well, normal service! makes me wanna go whoa when i count lols. but its okay im not complaining =D

well school life is so-so, im quite at a loss at what to do with mysef honestly. its the exam weeks now; to study, or not to study? that is the question. [pardonnez for the shakespearean but cant be helped, i take lit. plus i have a test on Othello on july4 so yeah...] its like i see my classmates around me mugging [okay not exactly ALL], and i wonder what to do with myself. im leaving school in less than a month's time. okay scratch. in 3WEEKS' TIME. whatever i do in millennia now, i can forget it when i go to canada, quote my dad. and thats very true. the midterms are, from how the teachers put it, not only a test to see how much we've learnt, but also are a part of the year-end promos, which i dont have to give a damn about. cos why? i won't even be staying till the end of term3 for goodness sakes. so i really wonder, do i have to cram that hard? but at the same time, it'd be weird, and i feel weird, cos everyone around me's studying, and im not. so for once i feel like studying, so i can feel normal like everyone else. plus, i dont wanna be a distraction to my classmtes. they know full well that i dont have to study and slog myself to shitbits like they do, but i dont wanna put them in the playing-not-studying mode when they're around me. its kinda hard really, sometimes. but i have to admit, maybe i've grown a lil in a sense that i finally realise that its true. whatever you do around you, you have to watch out how it'll affect others. being in millennia has kinda taught/made me realise that. hmmm so for now im kinda balancing between work and play. i do mug occasionally, even though my slacking outweighs it more HAHA. but im coping so i guess thats fine. right?

dum dum oh yeah there's aikido too haha. yeah so im back in aikido. and sucking at it cos i haven't trained in more than a year >.<> with me when i go to canada HAH. bleh but im gonna start multi-dojo again [i sense more bruises and injuries coming my way] in july and august, partly cos i think [know] i need it. and partly cos my dad will nag me to death if i dont. so yeah. but its fun. wishing that JODY FOO and her sis JEANNETTE will come back soon cos i miss training with them =/ eh girlfriend remember to remind me to ask you out okays lols =D

hmmm oh yes the biggie of them all. going to canada. like what i told a friend:
im excited about going.
but i dont wanna go.
i have second thoughts on going.
im kinda scared to go.
but yet at the same time i cant wait to go.
i cant wait to get out of this reality.
but at the same time i dont want to face a whole new different reality.
yeah i know the feelings are really mixed but oh well. happends when you're confused, excited and scared all at the same time right? but yes truth be told, thats what im feeling now. probably there's a whole lot more than what i typed but oh well. its all jumbled up in my head now. i didnt bother to organize them till my friend jokingly asked me to "tell the truth". so there. the reality of going to stay with people i've known for only a day is kinda daunting, esp when they're gonna be your legal custodians/guardians and you're gonna stay with them under their rules for a year. yes massive difference, so welcome to my world yup.
and its gonna be all so different, in terms of racial differentiation too. like in sinagpore, chinese are the dominant race so everything's a-okay for us chinese here, not much of racist jokes and discrimination against us heh. but over in canada, chinese/asians are quite the least dominant race. and like my dad questioned me, "are you ready for racial discrimination against you just because of your race?" hmmm maybe i should've asked him, him being the veteran of this. zzz...
oh yeah and language too. wheets i get to pick up french like sweet! have been wanting to pick it up since i heard it lols. parler francais here i come lols. so mandarin, which i suck at, won't be used much there [i hope], but cantonese will! whee i'd take cantonese over mandarin any day lols =D [gosh imma disgrace to the mandarin speaking community]
plus culture shock. went through that when i went back in 2003, and im gonna get re-shocked again this august groans >.< and the town im going to, is a studying town. seriously it is. there're only schools there. well mainly i mean. high school, junior high, middle school, secondary school, universities... yeah you name it, they have it. school i mean. shopping mall? nah. no chance. maybe what i'd call a mini plaza. okay picture this: ginza plaza, and the schools and homes around it. now thats what london is some sort like. and the nearest mall, which is in toronto, is roughly 2hours away. heh heh fehoney says that there's no way i can survive there, and sadly i agree. but i'll try. i'll persevere. well i have no choice after all do i? if i screw up in canada, im screwed for life so yeah. guess london ontario will be quite the place for me to focus on my academics >.<

oh yeah bit of details. yup im leaving on august24, morning flight. please DO NOT ask me what airline im taking, esp if you're about to tell me the crash histories of that airline. i'll be landing at toronto dunnowhat airport, visit my uncle and his family and my grandparents there, then driving up to london ontario where my legal custodians stay. i'll be schooling with their eldest daughter at sir frederick banting secondary school [and you thought they only used HIGH school
there lols]. i'll be going [most probably] into grade12, so that means im going in for my first and last year of canadian secondary school haha! hmmm thats pretty much all the details i have and can spare. please so DO NOT ask whether im coming back to visit during my summer holidays; i hate to bring up the subject, much less discuss it. butbutbut if you want me to come back... donate 3dollars for xianing's air ticket for coming back next year! =D okay no im kidding, but really i have no idea whether im coming back or not. my parents are kinda reluctant to get me a two-way ticket, esp since a two-way ticket costs $3000 a person. so see its not cheap okay. and apparently, cos im running out of reasons to come back, im keen on my parents' decision on letting me stay in canada during the summerbreak and either get a summer job or go to summer school of some sort, than come back and waste their money. quite sad eh? oh well who said life would be a soft fluffy pillow that'll catch your fall all the time? ho hum... so there.

anyways so much for a "brief" update, but serves me right i suppose, for being too lazy to update my blog regularly >.<
anyways gotta go will update soon yup
ciao adios there you go~

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