whatsername
justa normalgirl
18teen and exasperated straightlyher
would crave for [tequilasunrise] or [anyfruitycocktail] in times of depression or upsetness
or craftwork & literature, depending
erratic and admitting it :p
Delectable Martini Chocolates ;
caramellic
mooooovies^
sprees of silliness musicology
chocoholic. BIG TIME
DONUTSSS!!!
appley pies~ swing swings dance dance
photographica
laughter loving
makeup-o-matic
love seeking no more
give it some time to load. toggle around with the buttons, that might actually help the loading process (and your boredom). turn up your speakers. if you're not gonna stay here for my entries, im pretty sure you will, for the music :D and the fortune cookie too :p
(because i can fit in a seashell, i will stay here away from the camera, bitchez!)
hmmm fascinating. okay so honestly, for the past 2 nights, my dreams have turtles (more specifically, terrapins) involved in them, and i have no idea why. and how much of the above statement is true, i have no idea either. but the dreams are pretty amusing though...
(i is a camwhoring turtle ya'll)
some background info to start off: my brother bought this "triops" set from school for 10 freaking bucks. you're supposed to hatch these little things with the instructions and materials provided. the whole process takes about a week or 2, and currently we're on day 5. they've hatched and now look like itsy bitsy krill running all over the container O.o
(no picture provided cos they're TOO DAMN SMALL. it's already hard enough to spot with the naked eye!)
(excuuuuuuuuse me. just because my name is Cookie doesnt mean you can actually eat me!)
on tuesday night (day 3 of the triops hatching thing), i dreamt that one of the triops eggs hatched, to my delight, aturtle! (more specifically, a terrapin) (bear in mind that the thingies hadnt hatched yet so we had no idea what they would look like, and the eggs were about as big as a pin-head O.O)
(lalala... i am Cookie the Explorer! psh who cares about Dora man..?)
in my happiness, i took the little critter and kept it for myself, without telling anyone. and for some reason, i took it to school! carried it in my hands and even occasionally put it in my bag. (dont ask me why, it was part of the dream too :x)
(the turtle's age of discovery)
okay so that one wasnt as bad, but wednesday night's dream was pretty messed up.
(the turtle's age of exploration)
on wednesday night, i had this dream that took place in school, during biology class. Ms Wan was doing some lab with hot water, so she boiled the water using an airpot (instead of a beaker or some sciencey apparatus, i have REALLY no idea). and for some reason, she put in a turtle too! okay before everyone starts freaking out, the airpot in my dream had a separate compartment at the top NOT for putting water. it's like a dish on top of the opening where you pour water in to boil.
(clearer picture: open the airpot, first thing you see is a metal dish. take the dish out, you see the part where water is boiled. tadah. funny airpot, i know)
(laptops have now evolved to becoming a turtle's playground too!)
so yeah after the water boiled, i went up and opened the airpot, just to see if the turtle was alright. it was all huddled together inside its shell, no limbs or tail sticking out. i gingerly lifted it up, and lo and behold! it was still alive! i even squeezed its shell a little to see if the "sauna" it got had softened it, and apparently the shell was still solid as a rock! i picked it up and took it for myself heehee (and the turtle in this dream was like the size of a canadian twonie :D)
(i is not on exhibition here! shoo!)
haha when i told my friends about my second dream, they were all like "OMG!!! MS WAN IS SO CRUEL!!!'' crap i think i just gave them more reason to dislike the teacher :x
(oooh! what be this???)
but when i gave the supposed "meaning of my dream" more thought, perhaps it did mean more than simply my love for turtles. (oei laugh what? turtles are cute okay!)
(hi ho, hi ho, it's off to exploring i go!)
"slow but steady progress"
call me surperstitious or reading way too much into it, but maybe it's indicative of my adaptation to Canada. much as people around me think im fully adapted and crap, i know im not. deep inside me is that feeling to just start talking in my real Singaporean accent, power-packed with Singlish, and to yell at someone "DIAM LA CCB!" instead of the regular "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU!'' psh.
(why this stupid girl put us in a box arh? and now she's pointing this black thing at me! hmph look away look away!)
i still use certain Singaporean terms to describe people to others (and end up apologizing and explaining what the term means). i still crave for fried carrot cake, sproingy maggie mee, ah lians to diss, "Majulah Singapura" to make fun of, open-air kopitiams, the awesome mrts where you can pole dance in (provided hardly anyone's around), the beach island of sentosa, the chalets in east coast, convenient online shopping where i can meet the blogshop owners and do a product inspection on the spot, malls all over the tiny island, the fact that Singapore is so near hot tourist spots, the never-ending partying that's SAFE, you can get cute baby terrapins for like $3 each anywhere, the summer all year round...
damn the list could go on forever!
(still pointing that ugly thing at me! well 2 can play at this game! *continues looking up*)
"you are sheltering yourself from the realities of life"
awkward as it seems, i find this so true. i've been missing Singapore so much, i haven't been immersing myself in the Canadian lifestyle. people who think i have, i wonder how you got to that conclusion :x
(yes i put them in a box to camwhore them :D)
all i do nowadays is think about how life in Singapore for me would've been like, had i stayed on. i'd be in poly/MI now, possibly working part time, and definitely partying quite a bit... *slaps self* okay i have to stop. i keep thinking about what could've been, instead of facing what is here and now.
yeah, so cowardly hor?
(someone once said this picture looks really cute cos it seems like they had their own little turtle argument!)
but it's so hard to let go. especially knowing that i could have survived just as well in Singapore had i stayed on, or probably even better. you know the feeling of having it all, the time of your life, then it gets taken away from you in one fell swoop? yes that's how it is for me. how can i just let go like that? you think 17 years of building up can be demolished/modified in an instant? that's why i hate it when people tell me to suck it up.shut your damn mouth and take a walk in my life before you say anything.
(the 3butt-e-teers -___-)
move on. i've never liked saying that to people when i console them and stuff, because i know how hard it can be.
i can safely say i've never really moved on since i left Singapore, only covered up. the makeup, the accent, the laughter, the jokes, the attention-seeking... now when i think about it, it's all a facade, a desperate attempt to relive my life the way i did in Singapore. funny isnt it? i wonder how long i can keep this charade up. and i find it even funnier that some Canadian locals think im a local. holy crap my acting must be that awesome. gimme a contract already, Hollywood.
(arent their colours cute? brown, brown-green, green, in order)
look ahead. i cant even face the present now, and you bloody want me to look ahead?
want to know what i see when i "look ahead"? i see myself graduating at the weirdest of times, neither with my grade 12 friends nor my grade 11 ones. i see myself applying for my desired courses like vet science and psychology, and getting rejected. i see myself broke, and working as a manicurist at some regular spa shop thing. THAT'S what i see. why do i see what i see?
because assuming that things dont improve too much from now, yeah everything ahead's gonna look pretty bleak :x can i go back to Singapore now...? *slaps self*
(i is turtle, and i is ready to pounce!)
(ARRRGGGGHHHH BRIGHT LIGHT!!! scram scram!!!!!!)
(argh put me down put me d- hey! look! bright and colourful~!)
(damnit. i hate it when i flip onto my back... well here goes!)
(we are zee new kindz od spiez. turtel spiez. *creeps up slowly with James Bond music playing in the backgound*)
(omg the camera!!!)
(the next time i see mountain peaks like that (terrapins' noses), im gonna call it Terrapin Nose Peak :D)
no, no no no. im not throwing a temper tantrum la, or swearing vengeance on someone. im just determined to have world domination!!! MWAHAHAHAHA *insert maniacal evil grin and hand rubbing here*
heehee, now that i've got my poison from the library, i shall use these to my advantage to take over the whole world via......
the internet. or more specifically, my blog.
yes, my blog. the one that you're reading now. OEI dont click the tiny x on the top right hand corner of your screen yet!!! i shall explain, okay?
okay so i've been going on and on about how i wanna make money out of my blog simply because: 1) i love blogging, even if some people may view it as not. 2)im a student, a graduating one whose parents are jobless. 3)I NEED THE DAMN CA$H LA. duh. 4)who wouldnt like to be rewarded for their blogging efforts right? 5)i get total bragging rights. picture this:
friend: "damn i didnt get to do that chemistry homework yesterday! i had to go to work right after school ended till like, 10pm. fucking shit..." me: "oh man that sucks... well i managed to do my homework AND make money yesterday. i love my job!" friend: "huh? do homework AND get paid? how the hell did you do that? people actually PAY you for doing homework???" me: "hell i wish. but no. im a blogger, and i get paid for posting up entries on how much my homework sucks and how lucky i am to get paid for doing so." friend: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
HAHAHAHA. im evil, yes? heehee... but what i mentioned, the reasons for wanting to earn from my blog, are placed in order of importance. HAH im not all about bragging rights la! that would be pretty silly, wouldnt it? lao niang not so hao lian okay :D
oh wait wait, i should show you my weapons of mass destruction that i borrowed. quit panicking, it's only a term!!!
cool huh? eh im not a dummy la... but i thought it would help me :D it's always good to go back to basics right?
much as i hate pink., but this book seems really useful. it covers everything, from how to do up your template, ideas on what you can blog, feeds... stuff like that! and it's for GIRLS ONLY . if i see a guy prancing around with this book in his hands, i will DIE FROM HARDCORE LAUGHTER. and this book is in total girlie language (eg. Templates: The Slipdresses of Blogs), so those girls out there who get bored easily by over-the-top professional language (eg. ME.), this is one book for you! even though i have no idea what moxie is... perhaps it's like girlie power or something (not to be confused with feminism!).
haha this one is mostly for myself, to help me feel less of a loser. why am i a loser, you ask? okay let me break it down for you: i have photoshop, BUT HAVE NO CLUE AS TO HOW TO USE IT. the only things i know how to use are the spot healing tool (for my zits. ARGH), the pucker tool (to make me look skinnier), the bloat tool (in case i do something wrong with the shrink tool, and to make my eyes look bigger when necessary) and the effects (to distract you guys from my realm of ugliness). yaya, revelation for you guys. "OMG SHE'S A PHOTOSHOPPED BARBIE BITCH!!! ISNT THERE ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET THAT IS REAL ANYMORE???"
CHILL. please. thankyou :D
oei ugly girls dont have much of choice la. we either post our pictures up, completely unedited, and end up disgusting you guys so much that we develop some sort of repulsion force from ourselves. (haha chem nerd!!!)
or, we can do some minor edits (no airbrushing very good liao hor), look presentable and decent, and you guys dont get repulsed from us cos there's no repulsion force! whee~ obviously the latter is my preference.
you can argue that you're not superficial and stuff, but this is targeted at the general audience, and admit it, it's in our human nature to be attracted to something that's pleasing to the eye instantly, rather than something that's not. right right right? :p i see you nodding your head there :p oei stop shaking your head! i can see that your fingers are crossed behind your back okay! JERLYNE JAE IS WATCHING YOU... (Big Brother, anyone? or George Orwell? haha english freak!)
okay back to topic, the awesome books i borrowed from the library!
so awesome la, the photoshop book comes with full-coloured pictures and examples, so you can see the before and after effects clearly :D
hmmm what else shall i do with these books..? oh yes, my favourite past time...
CAMWHORE!!! who says you cant camwhore with books huh?
im a nerdy nerd nerd!
moxehh sounds so sexehh :D
the dummy is in the house! not that crash-test dummy -__-"
photoshopped to make it less revolting for you guys :)
yeah this is the photoshop book! :D
oh and yes, these pictures were photoshopped as well, since we’re on the topic of blogs and photo editing stuff :D aiya not much difference from the original pictures really, because my photoshop skills are noob beyond noob. (you don’t know what noob means? Yay you’re noob beyond noob beyond noob!! :D) I will only post my unedited pictures here when im too lazy to edit them because it is pretty time consuming (for a noob like me :[), and when a post needs to be put up urgently (according to me!). and even if that happens, who knows? I might edit those pictures and post them right back up again, if I have the time and nothing better to do.
anyways, I’ve been approved for the whole google adsense thing, which is great! But the next problem is: HOW THE HECK DO I GET MY ADS INTO THE CORRECT SLOT ON MY BLOG??? So I have ads on my blog now, but my blog’s primary purpose is well, a blog la! So if the ads are screwing up my blog, I’d rather take them down. I’ve been trying to place the adbox on the right side of my blog, so that everything will look more balanced and spaced out. But unfortunately, IT’S NOT COOPERATING. Either that or it’s because I don’t know how to make it cooperate with me haha!
And it’s frustrating cos I like the border of the adbox that I chose on google, which has cute rounded corners instead of those ugly standard corners you see all over the net, so boring. You don’t see those very often, do you? But for some reason when I do up the adbox on blogger, I get the fugly 90degree pointed corners!!! ARGH.
SOMEONE. PLEASE. HELP ME!!!
Partly why I suck so bad at this is because im new to the whole thing, so im not sure how to apply the stuff from google to blogger AND GET WHAT I WANT. Secondly is because im not very familiar with html codes. Yaya, how to blog without knowing codes right? Well I know basic codes, but not enough to do up blogskins, pictures and ads. Blehhhh it’d be nice if anyone could give me some tips and stuff. I’ve tried looking through the forums on google, and it actually confuses me more. How to help me when im such a failure right? Forum discussions also cannot understand, cham liao :[
So help and tips would be greatly appreciated, because my income depends on it :[ and my family’s :[[ if I can find book that’s something like “Google Adsense for DUMMIES”, damn, I would so get it! Like that! *snaps* or blog advertising or whatever. Somewhere along that line.
Whatever it is, I will become world dominator over all. I’ll see to it that I will :D ambitious? Better than having no ambitions/aspirations. Unrealistic? Well what you perceive as unrealistic may be realistic to me, you never know (postmodernism!). too day dreamy-ish in some way? Well, I am a Piscean, so therefore im allowed to day dream :D
We are much involved, all of us, with questions about things that matter a good deal today but will be forgotten by this time tomorrow -- the immediate whereas and whens and hows that face us daily at home and at work -- but at the same time we tend to lose track of the questions about things that matter always, life-and-death questions about meaning, purpose, and value. To lose track of such deep questions as these is to risk losing track of who we really are in our own depths and where we are really going.
-Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC
Men and women develop theologies when, having found life puzzling to their minds and disturbing to their hearts, they try to work out an understanding of life that will satisfy their intellectual honor and their hearts' needs. The resulting theological structures are likely to differ radically in the way they state the basic issues and in their conclusions, but one imperative set of questions permeates them all: Who am I, and where am I, and what am I doing here? These are universal as well as personal questions, and social as well as individual. Everyone does ask and answer them more or less consciously and more or less adequately. And they are practical as well as theoretical questions. How we answer them will directly or indirectly determine all our actions in and reaction to the world in which we live.
-Mary McDermott Shideler, A Creed For A Christian Skeptic.
i think too much of World Religions has gotten into my head... someone save me!!! :[ =x
amusementbut not happiness a bedbut notsleep bloodbut notlife booksbut notbrains a clockbut nottime foodbut not appetite finerybut notbeauty a housebut nota home luxuriesbut notculture medicinebut nothealth positionbut notrespect sexbut notlove
a crucifixbut nota saviour a church pewbut notheaven
when you think about it it's kinda true; money doesnt really equal to a better life...
when i first stumbled on this video on youtube, i just had to find out who she was and what the heck happened to her. i sure as heck didn't know who she was but i just had to find out. she struck me as a very beautifulandfriendlyperson who was well-loved by the people around her. her story broke my heart and made me cry. apparently (from what i read) she was 17 when she was murdered, and ironically she wasonly 6 days away from her 18th birthday. six days. that's less than a week for crying out loud! and the murderer didn't even know her! she was stabbedin the chest while cleaning a table on her shift at macdonalds. a few hours later, she was pronounceddead. it's so sad and unfair.
her story reminds me of how fragilehuman lives are and it scares me. always tell those around you how thankfulyou are to have come to know them and how much you appreciate them. a dead man cannot read his epitaph nor hear his eulogies, so take the chance to tell them you love and appreciate them now. don't restrain praise or honest words in you heart. at least if they do go unexpectedly (which we pray won't happen), they'll go knowing that you loved them and you'll have less regrets.
to the sviderskys and those who know her, be strong. im sure she's looking down from heaven with love in her eyes for you guys. she's alive and well in your hearts. her story moved the world and touched many lives, even those who didn't know her personally.
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink... But if you must... Lie in the arms of your love, Steal away from bad company, Cheat only death, And drink to the moments that take your breath away."
what you hold to now will come to light in the face of death.
think about it.you may say that you love a person now, but when someone holds you at gunpoint and asks you if you would die for that someone, would you?in the face of death, what would it be: your virtues, beliefs, principles, perspective, or, your life?
