whatsername
justa normalgirl
18teen and exasperated straightlyher
would crave for [tequilasunrise] or [anyfruitycocktail] in times of depression or upsetness
or craftwork & literature, depending
erratic and admitting it :p
Delectable Martini Chocolates ;
caramellic
mooooovies^
sprees of silliness musicology
chocoholic. BIG TIME
DONUTSSS!!!
appley pies~ swing swings dance dance
photographica
laughter loving
makeup-o-matic
love seeking no more
give it some time to load. toggle around with the buttons, that might actually help the loading process (and your boredom). turn up your speakers. if you're not gonna stay here for my entries, im pretty sure you will, for the music :D and the fortune cookie too :p
here's another topic of lighter and more digestible content, also brought to you by http://www.boardofwisdom.com/ ! after all, when all else fails, damn you should've followed your instincts and used your sense of humour instead! :p haha enjoy ya'll!
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. -Rami Belson ___________________________________________________________________
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
A LOGICAL SOLUTION. Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem. From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top. -some big organization ___________________________________________________________________
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned. -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. -Rita Mae Brown ___________________________________________________________________
When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy. -Henry Kissinger ___________________________________________________________________
Actual Answering Machine Messages.
*My wife and i can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.*
*This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name and your number and your reason for calling...and I'll think about returning your call.*
*John's answering machine is broken. This is john's refrigerator. Speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.*
*Hi. Now YOU say something.*
*Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, its you.*
*Hello!If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a sexy message, I'll call sooner.* -oneluckystar ___________________________________________________________________
So... the elephant says to the camel "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" the camel replies "that's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face." -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________ LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
1) Thats not right... -Sum Ting Wong 2) Are you harboring a fugitive... -Hu Yu Hai Ding 3) See me ASAP... -Kum Hia Nao 4) Stupid Man... -Dum Fuk 5) Small horse... -Tai Ni Po Ni 6) Did you go to the beach?... -Wai Yu So Tan 7) I bumped in to a coffee table... -Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni 8) I think you need a face lift... -Chin Tu Fat 9) It's very dark in here... -Wao So Dim 10) I thought you were on a diet... -Wai Yu Mun Ching 11) This is a tow away zone... -No Pah King 12) staying out of sight... -Lei Ying Lo 13) He's cleaning his automobile... -Wa Shing Ka 14) Your body odor is offensive... -Yu Stin Ki Pu 15) Great... -Fa Kin Su Pah
For the losers who didnt get it..... refer to 4) please :D -bulliten ___________________________________________________________________
Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming into a revolving door. -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin ___________________________________________________________________
When the americans went to space they quickly found out that ball point pens wouldn't work in zero G's, so NASA spent a decade and 12 billion dollars developing a pen that could write in zero G's, upside down, underwater on almost any surface including glass and in temperatures ranging from below freezing and to 300 degrees F.
THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL - Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) ___________________________________________________________________
A mom is driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a play date. “Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother warns. “It is not polite.”
“Ok,” the little girl says. “How much do you weigh?”
“Now really,” the mother says, “these are personal questions, and really none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and daddy get a divorce?”
“That is enough questions, honestly!” The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
“My mom wouldn’t tell me anything,” the little girl says to her friend.
“Well,” said the friend, “all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card—it has everything on it.” Later that night, the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are. You are 32.”
The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.” The mother is past surprise and shocked now.
“How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”
“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”
“Oh really?” the mother asks. “And why’s that?”
“Because you got an F in sex.” -Unknown ___________________________________________________________________
Reality is an illusion caused by a shortage of alcohol. -Tollieman ___________________________________________________________________
(im waiting for this one to happen to me in REAL LIFE!) "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." -Kenji ___________________________________________________________________
Sunday School~
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The teacher fainted. -lucky21 (hella i love that joke the best. well one of the best actually HAHA)
OMG anyways i was supposed to post a follow-up entry to the mad tv thing, but i got distracted and stuff haha... plus when i came back my freaking internet collapsed on me, and the stupid desktop reacts as though it has some major allergy to me when i use it. argh irritating bugger...
anyways... here's stuff to kick back and relax to. and of course, ROFLMFAO :D parody paradise is HERE!
the hit song "Umbrella" + the political battle between Hillary Clinton & Barack Obama =
beautiful? nah... barely :x
haha shakira shakira...
and now... the biggest star of the parodies of them all... BRITNEY SPEARSSSSSSSS!!!
Im Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman.
heeh "Me Against The Music"? think again :p
Hit Me Baby One More Time
SuperGirly proves that "Hit Me Baby One More Time" & "Oops I Did It Again" are of the same melody... childhood theme songs come crashing down... NOW!
Gimme More (Pills)
Finally! a tribute to asians from Gwen Stefanie herself! :D
To Hilary Duff: PUT ON SOME WEIGHT. YOU'RE SUDDENLY SO THIN IT SCARES ME. AND IM CONSIDERED ANOREXIC ALREADY.
Intuition? no it's Prostituition! :x
promiscuous = syphillis!
i love this parody the most. in fact, i think this parody sounds much better than the original version... :x
well thats pretty much all for now... for more laughs, log on to youtube! :D
okay so i've been bored to death recently, and went on to youtube, and stumbled on the funniest thing ever: MAD TV! its name speaks it all, it IS mad. in this post it's all sketches and ads and stuff. music video spoofs will be in another for organization's sake :] ENJOY! :D
-Tickle Me Emo!
i have it on replay HAHA
-Sex Education Sketch
this is sex ed gone WRONG. to learn anything from it, put yourself into REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY mode =x
-The Alternate Ending to the Wizard of Oz
haha for those of you who love the timeless classic... this is for you suckas! :p
-Memoirs of a Geisha
one word: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
-Jessica Simpson
a take on the woman who didnt know if tuna was chicken or fish.... starring the pretty jessica alba! :D
-Ashlee Simpson
her famous lip syncing act and blaming fest reanacted :D madtv style!
hahax okay today was like super funny... not to poke fun at those people who stand around and ask passer-bys to do surveys, but sometimes it just really is kinda amusing =]
so i was gonna go into this shop at woodlands station to buy some essential stationery like RULERS for tomorrow's all important MATH exam... just like 5metres away from the entrance of the shop, this survey guy comes up to me and asks me where im studying now. so i said "christchurch secondary". then he was like "sec 4? taking o's?" and i just nodded my head. then he was all like "tomorrow's math right?and you're still out here shopping? wha very confident ar?" i just freaked out and went like "NO! im gonna buy stationery for the exam tomorrow! i don't have a ruler!!!" the guy just laughed and let me off, wishing me all the best so nice of him =]
so i went into the shop and i was like totally disgusted. i mean they have like practically almost everything there, except for stinking PLASTIC RULERS!!! like hello they're such an essential in the modern world thankyou very much =] hope they get the memo... like okay fine they had metal rulers but they're so hard to use and are probably used best for whacking people on the head or something -.-''
so fine if i couldn't find stuff at that puny lil shop, then i'll most probably find it at popular ha~ as i was walking into causeway point, this other survey guy stationed at the entrance walked up to me and asked me the same old question "where are you studying at?" and my usual honest reply "christchurch secondary". the guy asked me if i was taking my o's and i said yeah, and he let me off with another "all the best for the o's"... guess they're not such bad people after all =]but you know what? if i flop my math and social studies papers... i'll know who to find HA HAHEE HA~
hahax i bought like 2 rulers from popular, a protractor and a cute pingu template to draw this cute cartoon penguin =] i have absolutely NO idea why on earth i bought the last one especially since it has absolutely NO RELATION to my math exam, but it was cute =] and it only costed me 50cents =]
so i was walking back to the bus interchange and (another) one of the survey guys came up to me (again)... he asked me in freaking chinesewhere i was studying and i told him "christchurch secondary" (again)... then he asked me something in chinese, and i thought he was asking whether i was taking my o's this year, but he wasn't. then he said something again, and this time i thought he was asking which class i was in, but again he wasn't. then he asked me (in chinese) if mr chow was still around and i said yup, and he gave me a totally shocked look lols... so turns out he was asking about the TEACHERS... hahax so that guy was a senior from christchurch! *shock horror mortification* he was kinda cute, a lil like a hong junyang lookalike, but too bad he speaks chinese (gosh like hong junyang too zzz lammmmee) sad sad...
hahax so i walked on and near the escalator down to the bus interchange, i pratically predicted that this other survey guy would approach me, and he did lols =] he asked me where i was studying at (again) and i gave him the same old answer that i've been giving his other pals: "christchurch secondary school". and this time i got a different reaction (finally!) "what? you mean you're not 18???" i just smiled and nodded, then walked off. can't remember if he wished me good luck for my o's too ha hahee ha =] but oh well aint it amusing? i didn't know formal wear makes you look older ha~
anyways gotta get going now... gotta revise for mad math and sucky social studies... zzz i wish ss wasn't created =[[ really i do =[[
damnit this video is super funny! you gotta admit, the girl looks a whole lot like nelly furtado. thats why i bothered to watch it in the first place! gives a new take on the song huh? =]
