goodbye my fishie friends
Monday, July 16, 20072:23 AM
sighs how sad. yesterday night my parents gave away 10 of the cutest lil friends i have (had): my goldfish. and a suckerfish. okay fine so LOTS of people will wonder why the hell would i get so depressed over the absence of 10 lil bumbling hungry fish, but when you've got pretty much noone at home for you except your pet fish, then its another matter altogether.
well i guess when my mum texted me to tell me they were giving away the fish yesterday night to a family friend, i kinda went into shock mode, and decided not to come home to see the "grand departure" of my fishie friends. instead i dawdled outside, wiating for everyone to leave the house, then come home to an empty drained-out tank. which is really depressing to look at honestly.
the worst part was when my mum told me that their friends said they couldn't guarantee the safety of our fish, which were put in this mini pond outside their home, cos there was a CAT going about the neighbourhood recently. like oh wth??? and they still gave the fish to them??? why couldn't they wait till the cat decided to disappear or till someone called up spca to catch the cat or something then pass the fish to them? argh...
but well yeah its really lonely and boring and empty to wake up, walk past the fish tank and stare at that empty thing. the fishies were the ones i'd greet good morning to. hmmm well... yeah and there're no more fishies to play with, feed, touch, disturb (haha), make funny faces at with the knowledge that they cant whack you back, talk to, admire, take pictures of... sighs... well at least i had the smarts to take lots of pictures of them long ago, so its not too bad... i guess.
weird as it sounds, i really do miss them. they were in a way some sort of escape to avoid and block out all the shouting and screaming and chaos in my house. i would just sit there and quietly watch them swim around freely, while hell broke out loose in the background. somehow watching those lil things swim around, spit gravel, bump into each other, search for food and stare back at me brought about a considerably stable sense of peace, amidst the shit going on in the background of my house. plus, if my familt members caught me staring at the fishtank, they'd somehow join me to do the same, strangely reducing the noise levels in my house. i guess in a way they were peace makers too HAH. dang i really do miss them now.
so okay yesterday night i'd made up my mind about not going to school today, which i didnt cos i just continued sleeping in despite everyone who kept coming into my room to wake me up. i really had no mood to go. so i woke up this morning, walked out to the fishtank as i always do, ad sat there and cried and cried in front of the empty tank. no more lil fishies to say "good morning, how are you silly things?" to, and no more lil fishies to swim up to the surface, gaping their mouths to show me that they were hungry. its depressingly empty really.
and no more lil fishies to keep me company when i decide to do late night tv watching too. during the holidays when i watched tv till the wee hours of the morning, i always heard some splashing noises some distance behind me, and i always wondered what it was. turns out, it came from the fishtank, which was directly behind the living room area. i think my fish were still awake cos of the lights coming from the tv, and were splashing about due to restlessness of some sort. really it was quite cute. i always wondered whether they were watching tv with me too ha.
but now all thats changed. my house is pet-less now, and very empty. that 3foot tank is still there, standing, but with only the gravel and an inch of water still inside. my parents probably didnt have time to decide what to do with it. the filter's still there, along with the tubes that used to filter the water in. the plants are gone, probably thrown away i suppose. the lights have been removed, placed on the sofa instead of above the tank. there's no use for them to be there any more anyway. i ripped off the streamers this morning, those i'd used to twine around the stand of the tank. they'd been there since christmas, and my mum refused to take them off cos she thought they were quite a nice decoration to the overall look of the tank. but i ripped it off, cos there's no use for them now, is there?
and im more lonely than ever, cos the fishies were the only company i had in my house/family, since my parents and maid are too caught up with my siblings (and kinda thank goodness for that in a way). they were the only things i bothered to take care of. oh well, they're gone. its back to the same old house/atmosphere i used to live in almost 2years ago.
but also, the giving away of my fish is a rude reminder to myself, that this is only the beginning of a whole series of changes. i'll be experiencing more as the day for me to go draws nearer. this is only the simple start of it. Labels: angst, depressed, frustration, pet fish, teenage life
say something,
say it RIGHT.
this sucks... BIG time T.T
Saturday, September 02, 200612:28 AM
blehhs today is like a bad bad bad bad bad bad day for me... no don't be deceived by the seemingly cheerful colours i used to colour the 'bads'... i am seriously in a super mood today =[ eh i think i put the wrong face there... rarhs i dunno how to put the angry one la...
hmmm lets see... first up i lost my ez link card how wonderful right? yeahs n i have no idea how i lost it... there's no way i put it in my bag cos it was in my pocket when i boarded the 913 bus... i even used it on the bus please... but when i went on the 901 bus i realised my pocket was empty n yeah thats when everything went wrong... rarhs thank goodness camel n hareni were on the bus so they sorta spared me some money for the bus fare (i forgot to bring my wallet out)... but its so sad... my pretty neoprints, consession pass n mcdonalds points are all GONE. wheh :'(
then on the bus i started getting this splitting headache which made me wanna throw up everywhere... stupid thing...
then that stupid headache sorta like blocked up my thinking so i think im gonna totally flunk my geog mock now... i actually wanted to hurl all over the mock paper... but heheh i didnt use a cheat sheet see im so honest =] whats the point in doing a mock with a cheat sheet? its like testing you on how much you've copied from the textbook -.-''
after the test i went to look for ms sharifah to take back my other art board to paint at home... n she wasn't around!!! oh why oh why... just when i need to chiong to do my art, she aint around... oh yeah n my dear bro siu long forgot to photocopy the art prelim question paper for me... he'd better remember to type it for me cos my life depends on him now =[
yeah so after i tried looking for ms sharifah but to no avail, cheesan told me that there was a bb camp going on in sch now... gosh i so happie n excited to see my eye candy la =] but sadly, after like 5-10 mins of standing around, i didnt even get the chance to see his back =[ sucky day...
so fine i left sch in a sad state... then i dunno why but i just started laughing... for absolutely no reason for 15 mins... just to cheer myself up again i guess... but cheesan said i was crazy n that she didnt know me =[ meanie... i was planning on going to the bus interchange to make a report then call n see if my dad could send me home but NOOOO... he said he couldn't drive the car out now (when i went home i knew why... anyone with a dim bulb could've guessed...) so i had to borrow MORE money from cheesan to pay the bus fare home =[ think i owe her more that a buck now...
yeah so anyways for now i'll have to wait n see if the people at the bus interchange n train station can find my card... if not i'll have to get a dumb replacement at some funny stations =[ boo i don't want la... n yeah 2 people made my day despite all this crap... yeah cheesan is definitely one of them... she waited for me to finish the mock (well since drey left i guess its the only reason why she'd wait for me right lols=]), put up with my crap n insane laughter, spared me cash for the bus fare n let me koup one of the seaweed chicken =] fine i shall say this MUMMY YOU ROCK =] hahax but i diamond la lols =] n yeah another is someone who was so nice n sweet to offer to take me home from woodlands even though he was like on the train from yio chu kang on the way home from a tiring parade rehearsal... yeahs just wanna say YOU ROCK TOO <3 color="#000000">gonna like take a nap now cos the headache's screwing my brains up n the noise my parents are making are just adding on to the headache... ugh anyways gotta get going... fishy stuff about the fish tank going on in my house now -.-''
P.S:(oh yeah my dad was dealing with the fish tank n the plants in it... thats why he couldn't fetch me home from causeway point -.-'')
Labels: frustration, pet fish, teenage life, wost day ever
say something,
say it RIGHT.
