All The Better
Monday, May 07, 20075:50 AM
i waved to you the other day
but you turned and walked away
all the better
there'll be nothing left for me here.
i called you up on the telephone
but noone was at home
all the better
there'll be nothing left for me here.
i needed your help yesterday night
but you were busy with your gaming fights
all the better
there'll be nothing left for me here.
you promised you would be there for me
but i suppose nothing's meant to be
all the better
there'll be nothing left for me.
when im gone.Labels: depressed, frustration, puppy love, short literature, teenage life
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nightmare
Thursday, August 31, 200611:21 PM
i had a dream
i saw you dying
die
i couldn't help you
couldn't cry
couldn't scream
stood at the side
kissed you lightly
then watched you die
with my eyes opened wide
maybe its fear
maybe its anxienty
to lose someone dear
maybe im just going crazy
forget it
for now i'll live life
with you in it
and cherish every moment faithfully =]
Labels: fear, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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me and you
Wednesday, August 30, 20065:45 AM
i dreamt of me and you
no wait
i dreamt of me hurting you
and it was scary
i drowned you in my tears
strangled you quietly
made you consume my fears
on my behalf
you took the hurting end of my pain
willingly swallowed it
delicate doll of porcelain
how could i?
i walked away
when i made a mistake
saying i'd tell you another day
hanging up the phone when i wanted to call for help
for you i'll fake a smile
make you happy
and keep you going for awhile
let you know you have someone to turn to
you don't need to know the tears i cry at night
i don't want to worry you
everyday's a little fight
but you don't need to know that
so for now i'll stand strong
embrace pain with joy
i know it's wrong
but its fine with me- as long as you're alright =]
Labels: fear, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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jerk
Wednesday, May 31, 20065:53 AM
i don't care if u dunno what's my blog's link or whether you're reading this now or whether you even know that im typing about you. i don't care. it's just that i hate to see my friends cry over stuff that upsets them n that they totally don't deserve. n apparently you so happen to fall into that category. the category of the stuff that my friend doesn't deserve.
your logic is so screwed up i seriously wonder what goes on inside up there... n how on earth she can put up with you for so long despite you being so unreasonable n such a moron at times. wait hold that thought, its MOST of the time actually... admit it you were a total loser when she dumped you... you were crawling all over the place like a measly little worm begging for mercy at the salvation army...
now that the 2 of you are back together, you seem to be riveting back to your old ways... guess your "i'll change for the better" promise came only with a 1 to 2 months warranty, and after that we'll just have to keep guessing... dontcha ever learn? *ponders*
she's too good for you isn't it? last word before i log out: freak she doesn't deserve you. not an ounce of you is worth her... Labels: angst, friends, puppy love
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wake me up
Monday, September 26, 20055:26 AM
kept my
hopes up each day
when you
talk to me this way
why did you
lead me astray
and turn things
so dark and grey
no more words
left to say
not when your back's turned
and fading away
don't walk
and leave me here alone
cold and sitting
in imagination's dome
shake me up
from pained reality
metamorphosis
i was too blind to see
too much's changed
it was never meant to be
now i'm
standing here
biting
frozen tears
what i used to
hold so dear
now's left me
paranoid in fear
no more tales
left to tell
no more smiles
since we fell
don't face me
give me those stares
now i know you
never really cared
wake me up
from what will never be
metamorphosis
hidden memory
too much's lost
time's my enemy
wake me
wake me
wake me up...Labels: depressed, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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all i am
Wednesday, September 21, 20056:20 AM
here i am
everything's laid bare
all that i am
you never really cared
all the things you said
all the lies you sang
echo in my head
from the ceilings hang
whisperings in my soul
stripped down to the bone
you've eaten me whole
then you leave me alone
what have i done
too numbed to feel
you've had your fun
don't think you know how to deal
here i am
everything's laid there
all that i am
you never really cared
all the things you said
all your alibis
echo in my head
can you hear my cries
painful memories
i don't wanna keep
broken fantasies
haunt you sleep
i'm gonna make you pay
gonna make you run
this line will make your day:
"burn, you scum..."Labels: literature, puppy love, teenage life
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keeping up:moving on
Monday, May 30, 20053:13 AM
see through my eyes
take a good look inside
all the tears that i cried
wishing to be the one by your side
hopes of us long died
when i found i couln't turn the tide
now im fallen
pieces broken
my heart you've stolen
into me reality's shaken
i had us totally mistaken
but im keeping up, moving on
i've learnt how to be strong
no point crying till the break of dawn
when all i can do
and should do
is keep moving on
and prove to you that you're wrong
yes, for myself i've gotta be strong
covering up the pain within
wear a mask; it's either sink or swim
the path's now all dim
im walking life on eggshells thin
regretting's a sin
but i should've never let you in
so lets talk consequence
when you play me with your silence
don't say there's no difference
don't try to blink out my existence
so for myself
im keeping up, moving on
i've learnt how to be strong
no point crying till the break of dawn
when all i can do
and should do
is move on
and prove that you're wrong
so im moving on, staying strong
**[erm... to be continued when i get back my brain cells to complete this]**Labels: depressed, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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messed
Tuesday, May 24, 20055:35 AM
it hurts to see to you
even more to sit beside you
knowing i can't have you
just rips my heart in two
are you that clueless
or maybe you just couldn't careless
the pain inside is endless
im already becoming senseless
stop the pulling and pushing
can't you hear me screaming
you're this so confusing
my emotions are overflowing
i guess you'll remain just where you are
not knowing who loved you from afar
i hope that'll leave a scar
on you, my shining star
you've got me messed
with your name on my desk
i've got to confess
you're a disaster at its best
you're my best nightmare
i love your confused stare
but do you even care
whether or not my spirit's there?
everytime you say goodbye
i wanna break down and cry
but i wonder if the tears that fall
are worthy of you at all
don't you know im just pretending
that im just hiding
these tears that i cry
behind these chocolate eyes
i need my emancipation
from this meaningless infatuation
im headed in no direction
with you as my source of inspiration
im sorry honey if i've put this too harshly
but lately you've been making me crazy
push me far away then pull me close to you
make up your mind now, whatcha gonna do?
creeping on the walls
waiting for your call
its a wonder i don't feel like a fool
when i scream your name out in school
the rain's beating down on my hair
then suddenly whipsers of my name fill the air
now when everything replays in full
maybe i was the one, who didn't have a clue...Labels: confusion, depressed, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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broken
Thursday, May 05, 20054:43 AM
phantoms
sleeping in my soul
stir, rise, awake
breathe down
through this cold
let me wake with you
unfurl my wings
let me soar
dreams of freedom
inside roar
but without you
your presence
ther's nothing i can do
leave me
break my world in two
reach out
grope for your spirit
but all i feel
is damp air
everything's turned rancid
why did you leave me
here to drown
why did you leave me
here to be lost
why did you leave me
here to fall hopelessly in love with you?
senseless
blankly wondering
hoping
to find you hand
but when i look
you're nowhere near
you're holding someone else
now everything's so clear
im not wanted
im not needed
your presence was the only thing
i ever pleaded
shadows curl
winds blow
raindrops whirl
emotions within
overflow
in this storm
i walk alone
sky like ebony
all forlorn
you're not here
you never were
my absence
would never kill you
like it did me
im still hoping
im still praying
my spirit would find you
because i miss you
even in death...Labels: depressed, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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its just too bad for her...
Tuesday, April 19, 20055:58 AM
seeing you
that very sight of you
makes her heart wrench
in indescribable pain
she can't stand to see you
its just too overwhelming
for her to take
all those emotions inside
locked up behind
the fake positivity
the fake smiles on her face
you go on with your daily routine
do you ever stop to notice
that girl smiling at you?
i bet you don't
she's just another face
you brush by
another someone
you say "hi" to
she's inferior,
she knows
she's lowly,
she knows
she's not pretty like them,
she knows
she's not ideal like them,
she knows
lift your head up
look around
do you see a girl
smiling across the room
at you?
wait
she's not there any more
her whirlpool of emotions
has swept her away
its taken over her mind
she can no longer think straight
so as you look around
for that smiling girl
whom you refused to notice
think
will you give up
looking for her
even when she's disappeared?
will you remember her
after the years?
will you remember her
the girl who was
me?Labels: confusion, depressed, frustration, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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too much..?
Sunday, April 10, 20056:38 AM
i've been thinking quite a lot
maybe too much
for my own good
but im blurred
puzzled
in a daze.
your words from a week ago
still linger in my head
though im known to be forgetful.
you distract me too much
from my surroundings
stop confusing me so much
tell me
what's going on
too much of this
will drive me off the brink
maybe yes
maybe no
i need to know
but for now
___*i miss you... too much..?*___Labels: confusion, depressed, literature, puppy love, teenage life
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